My mother’s family remained in Australia after she married my American father and left to come raise her children here in the U.S. All I ever knew of my Australian heritage growing up, was that I had far off relatives, that I may or may not ever come to know.
I cannot begin to explain to you how this feels, to know you are a part of something that you do not feel a part of.
I am realizing, that I have been longing to know this part of myself more than I was ever conscious of until now.
Over the last 7 years, my cousin Donna, has come to visit us here in Los Angeles several times. It’s always a very healing experience for us all, and by healing I do not necessarily mean easy. Her second visit, which was in May of 2009, felt like a disaster to us at first. All of a sudden we found ourselves confronted, looking into the big fat mirrors we were for one another, that painfully revealed to us, where we each stood in our own lives. It was not a pretty sight. We all were a mess, and we feared for ourselves and each other. Each of us were being run by our own addictions and emotional baggage, that had yet been resolved within us.
Family plays a major role in the way we see ourselves. Intimate relationships in our lives act like big mirrors, and those relationships reflect back to us, our inner demons and fears, inner beauty, inner wounds and traumas, and our inner strengths and hopes.
These are the people that we have the potential to become our best selves with, if we are willing to do the work, and if we are willing to decide that fear is NOT an option.
I have always wondered about Australia. I have always wanted to feel a connection to it, but there was so much inside of me that I had to work through, before I could release the past enough to make room for a new perspective.
After my cousin’s trip in 2009, we ALL began to “do the work.” We all began to heal.
We confronted our demons, addictions, emotional baggage, fears, wounds, and embraced our hopes, dreams, strengths, passions, and commitment to staying connected and becoming our best selves.
Donna returned to Los Angeles in March of 2011, and she left yesterday, April 21, 2011. I am dedicating this article to her, because she has helped me reconnect to my roots. Our relationship has shown me even more about who I am and what I am capable of. She has inspired me to recommit to the choice that fear is NOT an option. Our trip together, as a family, this time was incredible in ways that words will never be able to justify.
Thank you Donna…I love you.
So I am left here in Los Angeles, confronted with that big decision I told you about as I began this article. Is it time for me to depart the U.S. for a while and come to know Australia? Is it time for me to wake up from fear, completely, so that I may know life in a different way? Is it time to let go of what I fear I’ll leave behind, and instead focus on what I will always carry with me no matter where I am? Is it finally my time, to become a citizen of the world?
Many fears come up when faced with a decision like this. What if I leave and everything here that I’ve worked so hard to build is lost forever? What if my soul mate is here and I miss out on the opportunity to be with him? What if I miss out on having a family of my own? What if I won’t be as successful there as I could be here? What if I am making a mistake?
As these questions make themselves known, I consciously recognize that they are not me. Fear is not my truth, and it is but a program that was downloaded long ago.
I am waking up from fear. It is NOT an option, and I am stepping into the reality that we are all children of the Universe.
The world is our home, our family, and I am ready to take the next step in my life towards expanding upon that which I already know, to embrace the unknown. This awareness is transforming What If? into WHAT IF!!!
WHAT IF!!! there is man in Australia, that I connect with beyond my wildest dreams. WHAT IF!!! I feel more at home there than I do here in the U.S.? WHAT IF!!! this opens my valve in a way that helps me receive the level of freedom I long for to be a citizen of the world? WHAT IF!!! I find a piece of myself in my history there, that I may have never come to know if I stayed here? WHAT IF!!!
Are you confronting any big decisions, or even small decisions, that are bringing up questions, doubts, and fear in you? We all experience this, but the important part is that we recognize it, bring consciousness and light to it, and then align with the truth. What is your truth?
WHAT IF!!! fear is not an option?
My truth, is that I will never miss out on anything if I align with my Soul instead of fear. My truth is that I am FREE to make decisions because they feel good, and I don’t need to worry about the rest…because fear is NOT an option. My truth reminds me, that I am always being taken care of, that all my dreams can come true no matter where I am, and that all I have to do is follow my heart and remain authentic in my life. That’s my truth.
Please share your truth, your questions, comments, and experiences with me here. I love hearing from you and connecting with you as we travel this road together.