Hey everyone. I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks to be honest. I have been very tired, and struggling to beat this flu/cold thing that has just been lingering. It has had me really pissy and frustrated at times, but then I have had to remember, I don’t get anywhere with that attitude, and in fact that is what got me here to begin with. The last couple weeks have been a learning experience in letting go of always having to be in control. I have had this fear that if I am not go, go, going, that my life, and business, and income stream will fall to pieces. I have also found myself isolating, too afraid to let anyone know when I am not ok. Heaven forbid the “fitness queen” be out of commission you know. How can I get sick…that is just not allowed. At least that’s what my head has been repeating over and over. I am learning that what goes on in my head is more than often a big LOAD OF CRAP, and I do not need to listen to it anymore:)
Today I decided to put myself out there and to really speak the truth about where I am. Honesty, when shared, can be that magical thing that helps someone else, because it allows a real opportunity for someone else to be let in and possibly relate.
I am feeling much better today than I have in about a week and a half, but still feeling challenged to accomplish the simplest things. However, I do know, It’s ok to not be ok, and that is enough to relieve so much of the stress, fear, and pain that I associate with my being imperfect.
I am learning to have patience with myself during these times, and to move more slowly when I need to. I have experienced how much quicker I heal, when I finally honor where I am physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. When I force myself through tough times, I just get weaker. When I rest accordingly, I get stronger. It feels really good to say I am NOT OK! I plan to be honest from this day forward about when I am not. In the past, I have been really good at acting like it’s all good, and putting on a big smile to hide the pain or exhaustion or doubt and fear. I have learned the hard way that this doesn’t work, and I am grateful to know the truth now.
I hope you are honest with others and yourself about your state of mind, spirit, physicality, etc. Do you reach out for help and/or support when you need it? What are some of your biggest fears? Do you find it hard to let go and let God at times? I’d love to hear what you have to say! Please leave all questions, comments, and curiosities for me here on the blog. Here’s To Your Health!!!