Erin Lanahan Method

Signature method to get fit from the inside out!

Why Do You Want It? October 22, 2010

Today I had a pretty in-depth session with a client. She is struggling with a few things. Pretty much her entire life she has battled with feelings of unworthiness unless she can make a “BIG SPLASH” in her life. I think so many of us feel the same way. We are basically taught if we do not reach a certain level of society’s standards of “success” that we do not deserve to feel good about our lives or who we are. The biggest problem with this is, it keeps us from focusing on what’s really important and instead, we become totally obsessed with the things that ultimately don’t really matter.

For example, I asked this client “Do you think once you get the “perfect” job you will feel like all your problems are solved? Or is it possible that when you solve your inner conflict you’ll attract the “perfect job” for YOU? Why do you really want this particular job?” As she and I began to dig deep, she began to tell my her WHY behind this goal. She told me that what she really wants is happiness, freedom, safety, security, and good health. She just thinks she can’t have these things unless she has a certain job, makes enough money, has the right man in her life. For this client, she has measured her worth by the size of the “splash” she is making in the world. She is an AMAZING person, so this just made me very sad. She is suffering from the “When I have that…I’ll be happy” Syndrome.

This is the problem for most people, we all believe that once we have this or that, or him or her, we will finally be happy. But the truth is, just like the many people we know that have all those things and still remain empty to some degree, we are most likely NOT going to achieve the level of freedom, love, happiness, health, safety, and security, from these external sources. We may experience some temporary relief, and possibly things will get a little better, but eventually we will have to deal with our inner conflict. However, if we gain these things from a place of already feeling happy, joyous, and free, then it’s just the icing on the cake…but we need our cake in order to ice it! I believe, that if we switched our perception, changed the way we think, we would be much better off. Instead of waiting for the thing or the person or the job to be happy, why don’t we shoot for happiness and let the rest follow??? I can’t help but wonder…if we were already happy, would we feel as strongly about the need to make a “BIG SPLASH???” I’m just say’n. Your thoughts???

WHY do you want what you want? Figure out your WHY, and you’ll rediscover your WANT.

If you seek Coaching, please contact me at Here’s To You Health, Wellness, and Vitality!

Lots of Love, Light, and Gratitude,



5 Responses to “Why Do You Want It?”

  1. Erin,

    This blog perspective is so spot on. I had to switch my thinking from happiness being a feeling to being a state of mind … literally. Happiness does not come from external sources. It comes from the inside out and must become a practiced habit. I’m still practicing, practicing, practicing.

    To your health and happiness,
    Mark Edgar Stephens

    • Erin Lanahan Says:

      Yes, it is definitely a daily practice, just like meditation, prayer, etc. I too am always practicing, and as you know, the result is, the journey becomes more and more beautiful and I become happier and happier deep with in, every single day. My external world is always mirroring what is within me, so I am now at a point where almost everything I attract into my life is a vibrational match to this inner peace and happiness, thus I am receiving many gifts:) Thank you so much for sharing Mark! Big Hug!

  2. Kenetia Says:

    Thank you for sharing the good news. Because I am happy, fun, loving and prosperous my life is an out picturing of just that!!!

    • Erin Lanahan Says:

      Yes you are Kenetia…a TRUE example that our external happiness is only real and lasting when it is a manifestation of our internal happiness. Rock on girl. I’m so happy for you and all the amazing things you are blessing this world with :-)So much love to you…Mwah!

  3. Jan Says:

    In learning to let go, to enjoy the Journey rather than the destination. Already, over years of practice, I have achieved a huge piece of peace. That’s a dog I still have to fight from time to time. Balance and rolling with the ebb and flow is a step that will bring me more relaxation and clarity to enjoy the happiness that just bubbles inside me anyway. When I stopped mourning separation from family? I get an email and phone call. Now, today as a matter of fact, I’m waiting, tapping my foot in anticipation, for my daughter to look up. I know my beaming joy is lighting this whole city block! I want her to join me, where I am,,,,in relative peace and balance. God bless, Jan

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