Moving From Fear and Resistance Into Acceptance and Curiosity September 22, 2010
Well, I am feeling so much better than I was last week. I am integrating my Peru trip at a rapid pace now, and everything is beginning to fall into place…and it’s a WILD and PROFOUND journey! A few things were made super clear to me as a result of my struggles upon returning to L.A.
1) EVERYTHING that is put in front of us has landed on our path as a tool for us to use to create a better life. Yes, even the “bad” stuff. If we are conscious about this, we can really leverage the most uncomfortable and most painful of times, as the most profound and healing tools for us. Today, I am using everything “in my way” and “the way.” I have moved from fear and resistance, into acceptance and curiosity about each day and what gifts it will bring.
2) We MUST feel our feelings. It is when we want to numb out the most, that it is so important to bring awareness into how we are feeling in our body. I use to struggle with things such as alcohol, drugs, over-eating, etc. I have learned that these things were only my solution and actually, my thinking around my feelings was the problem. I did everything I could to run away from myself, so I didn’t have to experience the discomfort, pain, fear, insecurities, etc. But the TRUTH is …you can only numb it out for so long. Ultimately you have to face it. When I got home from Peru, I was really confronted with so much of my deep fears, doubts, lack and limitations. Some really old stuff came up for me…stuff I thought was in the past, such as my body image issues, binge eating, and some physical stuff. I felt weak, afraid, and lost. I began to experience feelings of anger, hopelessness, resentment, and sadness. However, I now have the consciousness that I did not have a few years ago. I understand that when I begin to overeat, or spin out in my head and feel depression lurking…it means there are feelings on the horizon due to POSITIVE change on the horizon. I MUST feel the feelings on the horizon in order have my breakthrough. These days, I can use my addictive behaviors as a signal, that I need to spend some extra time, turning within, tuning into my body and what I am feeling inside. Is it heavy, is it moving around, is it in my stomach, or maybe my heart? I ask myself these questions to help me tap into it and bring my awareness inward. This “feeling through” process allows me to contact the source of my feelings, and help them energetically move up and out of me. So, begin to bring awareness into your life. If you begin to notice fluttering in your tummy, feelings of suffocating, or anxious feelings within…be aware of the ways in which you attempt to “handle” them. Instead of numbing out, and trying to run away from something that will ALWAYS find you…try to take a few minutes each day to sit in silence. Breathe, and ask your body to show you where the source of your suffering is, and to help you feel it so you can let it go and release it into the light.
3) Sometimes we just need to be internal. The last couple of weeks I had a lot of judgement come up around the fact that I was not doing all the things I thought I should be doing upon my return from a month in Peru. The ironic part was that I had no say in the matter. I would’ve hit the ground running, but I got sick. It’s as if a power greater than me stepped in and took over. I was FORCED to slow down, and to be in doors, in my house, with me, myself, and I. I caused a lot of suffering for myself at first, as I sat around moping and feeling guilty and inadequate for having to stay home. However, it hit me one day that I WASN’T READY TO GO BACK TO WORK ANYWAY! In fact, I really didn’t feel ready to do anything, see ,or talk to anyone. Therefore, it was obvious that I needed to accept and embrace this time I was being GIVEN to just be internal, to cocoon myself and allow my healing process to really unfold and integrate in my body. You see, it was my conditioning that was the problem. I was certain that if I didn’t hit the ground running and “MAKE THINGS HAPPEN,” then I would simply loose everything…or my world would surely fall apart. I was afraid of being “forgotten” and “traded in” if you will. These were feelings that were very real to me, but once I embraced my process, and felt these feelings in my body, I found that I was wrong. Nothing fell apart, and everything was right where it was when I left, when I finally got back to work. Therefore, if you are feeling really challenged by the thought of stepping outside your front door…try allowing yourself to stay inside. Instead of “doing something” just use your cocoon time to feel your feelings, rest and heal. Try moving from resistance and fear, into acceptance and curiosity about your current circumstances:-)
Fitness Tips July 16, 2010
Here are your three fitness tips for the week:
1) Allow yourself to be where you are. Whatever you are feeling is OK! We so often want to run away from what we feel inside and therefore prolong it from passing through. As a result, we suffer in many ways. We may eat more, not work out, feel anxious and depressed because we are judging ourselves for not being capable enough or normal enough. Just FEEL IT. Embrace your reality NOW. You are allowed to be imperfect.
2) Stop comparing yourself to other people…you have no idea what their journey is about. Unless you are doing something nice for another…keep the focus on yourself. The world is a better place if we are all happy, so stop using others as a distraction from working on yourself. What can you do to be a happier person??? Do it!
3) Create an esteemable life. What is 1 thing that will make you stand taller, smile bigger, that will inspire you to step outside of your comfort zone and make bold moves? When we do esteemable acts, like eat clean and nutrient rich foods, exercise regularly, and take time for ourselves to enjoy our lives…we start to feel our self-worth go up. When you feel like a million dollars you are much more likely to manifest a million dollars!
That’s a wrap for this week. If I don’t see you Monday night at my talk…then come back and visit me here :)You can also meet me in your inbox every Friday in you sign up for my weekly Fitness Tips Newsletter! Here’s To Your Health, Wellness, and Vitality!
Everything You Never Knew You Always Wanted June 11, 2010
I feel like sharing with you something that comes up a lot when I am in Health Coaching sessions with clients. Through working with me, my clients have learned that there is more to being fit than just exercise and food, but that food and exercise help us do those other things in our lives that we require to truly feel happy, joyous, and free. For example, so many of us want the car, the house, the boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, the abundance to travel freely, the six (or seven) figure income, the hot clothes, the watch, the designer shoes, etc. We want them so badly, that we may slave for hours at a job we hate, go on diets that basically starve us and hurt our bodies, we bend over backwards to people please, and when it’s all said and done, we go home empty hearted and exhausted.
What I have found in my own life experience and through working with others, is that instead of focusing on how to attain and achieve all these external things, it is much more effective to shift and narrow our focus. If we direct our attention toward our mental/emotional, spiritual, and physical well being…the rest will unfold before our very eyes. I have seen it time and time again. So, for example, when we change the things we CAN change immediately, such as what we eat and how we spend our time, and do the things that honor our minds, bodies, and spirits, we begin to stand taller, smile more, get a little more bold on the dance floor, and step outside our comfort zone. This is because we feel good as a result from getting well, and therefore, as we feel good from the inside out, we look really good to the outside looking in. That’s when we begin to attract, and pull to us, that which our hearts desire. Even better yet…that’s when we achieve everything we never knew we always wanted!!!
So if you are out there making yourself crazy, trying to create this perfect life through acquiring external things, stop. Just make it easier for yourself and bring your attention back to yourself. What honors your body? When is your spirit happy and joyous? What makes you feel free and alive? Staying fit through proper nutrition and exercise will make it easier for you to do the things that make you happy, and as a result of doing what makes you happy on the inside, you will get to have all the promises that come along with it. I would love to hear your thoughts! We can all learn from each other! Please leave your questions and comments here for me on the blog!
As a Health Coach I help my clients menu plan, find exercise they love, I coach them through the obstacles in their lives that are making them feel stuck, I help them increase their energy, confidence, and personal power, and I help them decrease lack, limitations, and stress from their daily living. If you would like to know more about my services and how they might benefit you, please contact me at ELM.Coaching@yahoo.com for a FREE Health Coaching Consultation. Here’s to your Health, Wellness, and Vitality!
Who’s Hungry??? April 29, 2010
Hi there! Man, I have missed you guys. I took a week off last week, from blogging and writing my newsletter, because I have had so much on my plate lately! However, as a result of my mini break, I have a whole new appreciation for this delightful mug of peppermint tea I am sipping on…ahhhh 🙂
Do you ever notice how difficult it can feel sometimes, to keep a healthy balance between work and play, or being productive and being productively lazy??? I must admit I am guilty of forgetting this on a daily basis. When we are so hungry to achieve certain goals, we can end up starving ourselves of other nutrients we really need and require in order to function optimally. I talk about life in nutrition terms because everything we need is a form of food for us. Are you familiar with the terms Primary Food and Secondary Food? I teach these terms to my clients because it’s important for them to understand that there is more than just one form of food and many ways in which we get hungry and need to be fed. Do you feel hungry??? What are you feeling hungry for?
You see, Primary Food consists of things like career, spirituality, relationships, exercise, intimacy, rest and relaxation, fun, etc. We must be fed in all these areas in order to be properly nourished. Secondary Food, is actual food that we eat, and it also must consist of all the nutrients we need for our bodies to maintain a functional existence. The last few months I have made the mistake of putting some areas of my primary food, such as rest, relaxation, and fun, on the back burner so to speak. As a result, I have grown extremely stressed out, overwhelmed, and full of tension. THIS IS NOT THE GOAL!!! I eat very healthily , fulfilling my secondary food requirements, I exercise regularly, I am growing and loving my business, have great relationships, and I am consistent with my spiritual practice. However, WHAT’S THE POINT of achieving all these things, if I am walking around on the verge of a breakdown all the time??? Seriously, at one point last week, my business coach looked at me and literally stopped our session dead in the middle because my face looked so distraught! Yes, we had a time out 🙂 She, among several others, told me that I needed to let go a bit and chill out. It was a bit shocking to me that it was that obvious, by taking one look at me, that I needed a break! LOL! So I decided to do what had been suggested to me by some very credible sources in my life. I am feeling so much better now as a result. I am so grateful that I have been reminded of the value that rest, relaxation, and fun can bring to my life.
My point is…we tend to forget that such a big part of being healthy is the way in which we ALLOW ourselves to ENJOY the fruits of our labor. It is so important that we seek out balance between healthy productivity and healthy laziness. They are both required if we expect to maintain a healthy state of mind and a healthy body. Sometimes, we can make ourselves sick by trying to be so healthy and perfect all the time.
What areas of your life do you feel you may be neglecting? How might you feed yourself in some ways other than with food? Many people misunderstand their primary food hunger for secondary food hunger, and try to eat until they are full. The result…they consume more calories and NEVER FEEL FULL. Same thing goes for someone who is trying to fill their primary needs for fun by working too much…it aint gonna happen!!! Even when you LOVE your job, work and fun are two different nutrients, and we need them BOTH! Take a look at all the categories you consider to make up a “FULL” life for you. Then write down the areas that may be lacking in your life. What are some things you can do to fill yourself back up again in those areas? If you ever find yourself eating yourself into oblivion on the couch…you may be trying to fill a hole that cannot be filled with food. If you are always go, go, go, trying to get to the place of being “happy,” why don’t you try taking a day or two off instead, and actually give yourself the time to BE happy. On that note, I’ll share the quote on my Yogi Peppermint Tea with you, lol. “Real happiness lies in that which never comes nor goes, but simply is.”
I encourage you to shop in the grocery store of life, and pick out the things that will feed your primary needs first. Please share your questions and comments here with me. I look forward to hearing from you. Here’s To Your Health, Wellness, and Vitality!!!
Please take a minute to review the Integrative Nutriton Food Guide Pyramid and Live a balanced life 🙂
WHAT DO YOU WANT? April 16, 2010
Today was an interesting day. I was reminded that so often, positive and healthy transformation, is a result of doing things we DON”T WANT TO DO…at least initially. Does this resonate with you? If you haven’t noticed, almost everything “good for us” typically appears to be boring, bland, painfully awkward, and always involves stepping out of our comfort zone. However, judging things based on what we think we know, tends to get us in trouble every time. Do you agree? For example, eating more organic greens and actually learning a thing or two about how to cook grains like quinoa or buckwheat, may seem tedious and not quite worth the work. However, if we just do it, BEFORE we “decide” it doesn’t work, and watch our bodies get stronger, healthier, and leaner, then what we once thought was true, will no longer be so. Same thing with dating. You may decide you cannot fall in love or you may meet someone you immediately judge for not being what you want, but the truth of the matter is…how do you know until you’ve tried it first!!! Most of us feel like we should get results without doing anything to earn them. Heaven forbid we actually have to DO SOMETHING or feel uncomfortable or vulnerable for a while in order to achieve the prizes life is offering us LOL. I am sorry to break it to you people, but getting healthier physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, will take some sort of work or practice, putting yourself out there and getting vulnerable, and letting go of everything you “think” you know. What I am saying is, to get what you WANT, you must be willing do the things you DON’T WANT TO DO to get it:) At least at first. Once you get the results you are seeking, your perception will begin to change about what you think you don’t want to do, because you will see that what you once had resistance toward, becomes the very thing that brings you pleasure and so much joy. We all have our trust issues, and that’s ok. However, if you want to transform your body, your heart, and your life, it’s time to put those trust and commitment issues aside and dive into doing the things you don’t initially want to do or feel like doing.
Before you give up on exercise, try it first. Give it at least 6 months of being CONSISTENT and trust that it will improve your life. Before you decide eating more greens, whole foods, and organic products is too boring, bland, or difficult, try it! Give it 6 months of commitment and trust that you will feel better and better every day. Before you decide you don’t want a relationship or to be in the one you are in, date for 6 months or commit to improving your current relationship for 6 months. Be consistent, open, willing to be vulnerable and to try new things, and to listen. You might be surprised what you find.
A couple of examples in my own life, are the way I eat now compared to the way I ate a year ago. I would have laughed if you told me I’d be a raw vegetarian, if you told me this a year ago. However, by learning more and more about what I want, I began making choices in alignment with that, and as a result began feeling better and better until I was eventually eating completely raw and vegetarian. I eat this way because it brings me long-term pleasure, which is becoming short-term pleasure as well. Another example is dating. I was resistant to it for a long time and said I wanted to find a great guy, yet really wasn’t open to doing any of the things to find him. Now, let’s just say I’m making an effort to date, and I’m finding out how much fun it is again and how many great guys are out there. My point is, because I knew what I wanted and wanted it badly enough…I was willing to do the things I didn’t want to do initially, which I now find pleasure in doing!
So, What Do You Want? More importantly, What Don’t You Want To Do? Do whatever that is! More often than not, it is what we do not want to do, that is exactly the thing that will reward us with everything we’ve always wanted!!!
I would love to hear about the things you are resisting, and the goals you are seeking to achieve. Please leave your questions and comments here for me on the blog! Here’s To your Health, Wellness, and Vitaltiy!
When The Going Gets Tough…Just Keep Going.” April 9, 2010
Hey there my beautiful friend. How are you feeling today? I really would like to know what’s going on with you? What’s New? What’s Good? I ask you what is new and good because it can be so easy to get too focused on what’s old and bad. We all too often get wrapped up in what isn’t going well or what doesn’t feel good, without even knowing it, so I always ask my clients what is new and good:) I know it helps me when I’m in need of a mental and emotional shift! We all have those times in our lives, when things just don’t look the way we want. Do you know what I mean? Whether it’s our job, our body, our relationships, our spiritual practice, our exercise routine, our social life, or all of the above! I find that it is so important to get use to and accept the ebb and flow that is natural and totally relevant on this journey we call life. Unfortunately, it is very tempting to entertain the idea of “giving up” when the going gets really tough on us. How many of you are going through something like this now? I just happen to be coming out of a period like this myself. A girlfriend and I were talking about it the other day and she describes these ebbs as “growing pains.” I like that because that is exactly what they are.
When life throws things in your face, that are overwhelmingly painful, or almost impossible to cope with, JUST KEEP GOING. You will move through all of it eventually. Feel the fear, the pain, the sadness, the lack of energy, and show up to your life anyway! We can’t always look and feel perfectly together, pretty, and at ease. For example, when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, it goes into its cocoon while it transforms. If you were to peek at this creature mid way through it going from caterpillar to butterfly, I’m sure it would look pretty messy and ugly. However, as you know, the ending result is a beautiful creature with colorful wings that can fly! When the going gets tough, the caterpillar doesnt’ say “this is too hard, I’m just gonna stop my transformation and go back to being a caterpillar.” In fact…it couldn’t go back even if it wanted too. That is the same with you and I. Once we have begun to transform, the process is in forward motion and will happen whether we like it or not. Embrace your process, and when things feel ugly and messy, just remember the butterfly. You too will become something even more beautiful than you were before. When the going gets tough, just keep going. You will be flying high before you know it!
Have you ever gone through something that just felt yucky? Do you have trouble staying in faith and trusting your growth and healing? What do you do when you are faced with challenges that make you want to run the other way or hide from the world? I’d love to hear from you. Please leave all questions and comments here for me on the blog!