Hi! I am reporting here from the California coast, and we have exactly 6 hours and 50 minutes, and counting down, until we transition into 2011.
I have been inspired by a personal development blog to write about some of my Life Lessons and things I wish I’d known earlier in my life. I feel like this is the perfect time to reflect on the past, as I make a conscious decision this New Year’s Eve, to feel gratitude for all that has been, to bless it with love, and to let it all go, putting it all behind me.
Tonight I contemplated going out on the town with friends, and believe me, there was no shortage of options for me to choose from. However, when I really got quiet and tuned into my own gut, heart, and listened to my intuition, I was able to feel certain that tonight is a night for me, to sock in, to get clean and dressed in my comfy pj’s, with a notebook and pen. I plan to write a letter to all the things I’m letting go of, and then I will move to my next lists that will acknowledge all my accomplishments in 2010, and list out my intentions and goals for 2011. Then, I will make a vision board, exercising my creativity of course :), and finally, end the night deep in meditation as the clock turns from 11:59pm 12/31/10 to 12:00 am 1/01/11.
Tonight I plan to get super clear about my vision for this coming year because I feel the excitement as it nears closer. I know that I have so much to look forward to and I am already welling up inside with gratitude.
I have grown into a place in my life, where I really have no regrets anymore, because I truly believe that everything up to now needed to happen exactly how it did. However, life would have been a lot easier for me in the past had I known the things I know now.
Here are 5 things I wish I would’ve known earlier in my life, that if I had known, would’ve saved me lots of suffering.
I wish I’d known…
1) That my body is sacred. I did not feel this way about my body as a child or teenager, or even up until recently (and I’m 31 now). If I had known just how sacred my body is, I wouldn’t have treated it the way I did, or allowed others to treat it the way they did. I am grateful that I finally do know that my body is beautiful, wonderful, and a sacred place for me to live in and inhabit, and therefore, I will treat it so. I will feed it foods that nurture it, I will give it exercise, I will only engage with people who treat it with love and respect, I will keep it free of emotional, physical, and mental toxins, and I will appreciate it exactly the way it is every day.
2) That I AM love and deserve nothing but love. Most of my relationships were not very healthy. I have always had good friendships, but romantic relationships are a different story. I have come to learn that they were a mirror for me. They were showing me where I did not respect or love myself, and however painful it was at times, I know that I learned from all of it. It would have been nice to know this earlier in life, but I am just happy that I know it now, and moving forward, I will recognize when someones treatment towards me doesn’t feel right in my body. I will pay attention and I will use it as a tool, to ask myself what it is showing me about myself. Where do I still judge myself or where am I still unable to feel validated and good enough? Then I will let that person go who does not have my best interest at heart, and I will do my own work on why I even attracted them in the first place.
3) That life is happening for me. I use to feel like a victim a lot. It always felt like life was happening to me. This disempowered me in a huge way. This is the perception that there is no higher meaning or purpose or plan behind the things that happen in life. For me, I just cannot live that way. I have to believe there is more, there is depth, purpose, meaning, and a reason for all things. So I choose to know life as happening FOR me and FOR us. This perception allows me to see all things, whether they are scary, painful, challenging, joyous and amazing, or less than ideal…as opportunities for me to continue to break down the barriers within myself that keep me from fully showing up in the world as my truest, most authentic self, living my most amazing and best life. These opportunities give me the inspiration I need to continue searching for meaning and helping others do the same. Some days, that’s all we have. I choose to be inspired vs. intimidated.
4) That I AM worthy of great things, and if I believed that, then I wouldn’t be trying so hard to prove it to others. My entire younger years were spent running around, winning this or that, accomplishing, achieving, proving, and at the end of the day…I still didn’t feel like enough. I blamed others for a long time for not granting me the validation I longed for, poured my heart out for, and gave my blood, sweat, body, and tears over for. Then, recently, I woke up. I realized that I am the ONLY person who can validate me and allow myself to feel worthy of great things. The fact that I was trying so hard for others to do this was the evidence I needed to show me I did not believe it to be true within myself. Now, as soon as I see myself people pleasing and looking outside myself for validation, I know right away that I am really seeking my own validation, and I actually have an inside job to tend to 🙂
5) That ultimately everything we do, mistakes or not, will be used by a power greater than us, for the greater good…the bigger picture plan. I use to feel so much guilt or regret or suffering over choices or decisions I made, or about things I did that I was not proud of. I spent years of my life feeling shame, self-loathing, and disappointment over “who” and “what” I was, defining myself by how perfect or imperfect I was in my own eyes. I don’t do this anymore. I have learned, or chosen to believe, as a result of my own journey and self-development path, that EVERYTHING gets used to heal the whole. Even if we do something awful or terrible, just to learn never to do it again, there’s a source bigger than me that will make it good, and all is always forgiven. This helps me forgive myself and others, because I know it is not up to me to understand everything, except that all will be made good. I know this in my heart of hearts, that all is always made good.
So these are some of the things I’ve learned, and although I may have saved myself suffering had I known earlier in life, I consider myself to be blessed and lucky to know what I do know now. I am grateful.
Thank you all for participating with me here. I appreciate you. Here’s to a happy and healthy 2011, filled with all our hearts desires.
5 hours and 40 minutes and counting…
I love you,